Q. Bhaktivinoda Thakura says that in the householder ashrama one learns to love others. Yet I often hear devotees (especially sannyasis) say that the householder ashrama is just like a dark well. Many sannyasis who took to a life of renunciation at a young age later fell down. Also, when I look to the spiritual background of our acaryas, most of them went first to the householder ashrama. What is the best way to go?
A. In the grihasta ashrama one learns to love because to make the relationship between husband and wife as enduring as it should be and to raise children properly both partners must learn to sacrifice. Sacrifice is the foundation of love. Couples should enter married life with a sacred vow to remain together and understand that in order to do so they must learn to sacrifice. When the magic of infatuation is gone, we are to realize that it was only that, an illusion. The bond between husband and wife should be deeper than the skin and involve a commitment to helping one another progress in spiritual life. In the ideal scenario, sannyasa may not be necessary at all, because the commitment to spiritual progress is the basis of one’s marriage. Still in some cases it may be determined that for the benefit of the society at large specially qualified men and women may be called to the life of formal renunciation, and in adopting this life teach others by their example and their unique ability to communicate spiritual understanding. In such cases marriage may culminate in formal renunciation or men and women may forgo marriage altogether.
Q. I am very concerned with the notion held by some devotees that all material relationships are useless, despite the solace that your book Rasa gave me. Can you give me any advice?
A. The idea that all material relationships are useless is an oversimplification of our precepts. This may be so from the vantage point of authentic self and God-realization, but it is not true for those who have not attained this state. Therefore, relationships have value and should be tied to a consensus for gradual spiritual progress. Relationships are about the search for love, and in order for them to work, sacrifice is required. Indeed, this sacrifice more than anything else is what meaningful relationships are all about, and thus they stand to teach us about love even when they involve ignorance of the self and misplaced values. The frustration others express about their married life is often symptomatic of not learning from the relationship all that one could learn from it. At the same time, I highly recommend monastic life for those who are psychologically suited for it. True beauty involves full involvement at the level of one’s eligibility.
Rasa: Love Relationships in Transcendence is available here.
Q. I have a Tulasi plant in my home. Please tell me how to care for her. The leaves of my Tulasi plant are quite big so when offering food should a full or partial leaf be offered?
A. Tulasi devi should be worshipped regularly with arotika and kirtana. You should receive the mantra for picking her leaves from your guru. Dried leaves can also be offered, and the dead branches should be used for making beads. Offer the large leaves whole.
Q. Why is it that we do not worship Tulasi devi when the Deities’ curtains are open? Wouldn’t the Lord be pleased to see the worship of Tulasi devi taking place?
A. Tulasi devi is a devotee and generally we do not worship the devotees in front of the Lord, nor do they accept such worship. There is an ongoing competition between the Lord and his devotees. The Lord wants to see the devotees worshipped and the devotees want to see the Lord worshipped. Usually the devotees win.
Q. One of the devotees told me that the tilaka on one’s forehead and body means that we have the protection of Sri Krishna’s feet (the tilaka symbolizes the Lord’s feet). Why then does Sri Krishna himself wear tilaka?
A. Following the understanding that you mentioned, the answer is that Krishna thinks of himself as a devotee of Visnu. Krishna is wearing Visnu tilaka.
Q. Are all spirit souls ultimately going to the spiritual world or are there souls who will stay in the material realm for the rest of eternity due to the misuse of their free will or as a reaction to their offenses?
A. There are an unlimited number of conditioned souls. There will always be conditioned souls, and at the same time all conditioned souls will be liberated.
Q. Amongst Christians there seems to be a strong emphasis on gratitude. Christians give thanks for the daily bread, thanks for good fortune, thanks for being able to have this nice experience of walking along the beach, etc., ad infinitum. This doesn’t seem like such a bad sentiment on the surface, but it seems if you explore further, it is from a self-centered, “this is all for my own personal enjoyment” view. For Vaisnavas there doesn’t seem to be a real focus on gratitude; since the goal is not to enjoy for our own pleasure, but to learn to serve without personal gain. So how does one approach this subject of gratitude for someone transitioning from a Judeo-Christian viewpoint into the broader scope of Vaisnavism? How does the sentiment of gratitude fit into the Vaisnava paradigm?
A. Gratitude is the one of the elements in the foundation of love. It is certainly progressive to express gratitude to God for one’s material situation, as opposed to not acknowledging that we are dependent on God for all that we have. However, as we progress further in terms of understanding ourselves in relation to God, gratitude manifests primarily in relation to those who have helped us to develop a deeper understanding. The gift of knowledge is greater than that of material facility. We should be thankful for all that we have and more so for the knowledge that all we have is on loan.
Q. My therapist suggested I take anti-depressants. I wanted to know how you feel about this.
A. Prescribed medicine need not conflict with spiritual culture and may sometimes help a practitioner become better suited for spiritual practice.
Q. Though so many teachings are available, what message is best suited to all types of spiritual seekers?
A. Chant the names of God in kirtana. This is para upakara because it treats the root cause of all material problems. Hunger, for example, is only partially a problem of the stomach, and thus it will never end by feeding the stomach. Material existence is ultimately a disease of the heart (hrd-rogam), and when properly performed, kirtana is a heart exercise.
Q. It seems like initiation is socio-religious. Initiation = followers and that is more a social need than anything else is. How is it any different from being baptized in a church, having a mitzvah, or meeting the Pope? Why would a ‘real guru’ get involved in such a thing?
A. Apart from the real equation of the guru/disciple relationship in which both are qualified, there is considerable misrepresentation that could be labeled socio-religious or worse. However, a qualified guru may initiate some disciples who while seeking something more than socio-religious life, find themselves unable to progress much beyond this type of orientation. Nevertheless, the initiation has value because it creates a samskara or impression on the soul that will help the disciple to progress over time. A qualified doctor is not able to cure those who do not take the medicine prescribed, but this does not stop him from writing prescriptions, and should those who have neglected his prescription eventually recognize the need to apply it, they have the means to do so. It is also worth noting that socio-religious life is not necessarily a bad thing. Properly understood and applied, it is meant to gradually lead one to spiritual experience.
It is also important to point out that initiation alone is insufficient to bring about realization of the import of the mantra one receives from the guru. Initiation needs to be followed up on by imparting instructions to the disciple about the nature of pure devotion. One must be instructed on the nature of the practitioner, the practice, and the goal. One will not attain pure devotion (suddha-bhakti) without being instructed as to the nature of such devotion in spite of having been properly initiated. The guru’s service is to impart the mantra and give this kind of instruction. His own realization regarding the nature of pure devotion will obviously have an influence on the ability of the disciple to culture this ideal. So initiation is not a magic wand. It involves imparting esoteric knowledge in the form of a mantra, much like the planting of a seed. This seed must then be watered with good instruction such that the disciple is inspired with genuine understanding as to how to cultivate the fruit of suddha-bhakti. For the most part, the sadhana of the disciple determines his progress, although the disciple will feel that his progress is a product of grace in the form of the opportunity to hear the mantra and the knowledge to cultivate the unfolding of its import.
Q. I found my guru after sixteen years in Krishna consciousness. Since it took me so long, was there something wrong with me or does karma play a role in all this?
A. Srila Prabhupada was not initiated until eleven years after he met his guru. Each case is individual. In most cases karma and sukriti are involved.
Q. I am from Chennai. It is a practice here to construct a Ganapati temple in a corner where 2 roads meet perpendicularly. If not a temple at least a Deity of Ganapati will be installed in the wall. What is the significance of this? Also it is a practice here not to buy those houses that are right at the perpendicular intersection carrying the Ganapati Deity. It is believed we won’t have prosperity in our life if we live in these houses. Is it true?
A. Ganapati or Ganesha is the god (isa) of the common people (gana). He is generally worshipped for material prosperity (pravritti marga), which is the primary interest of most people. Ganesha removes obstacles that impede our material progress, whereas Narasingha Bhagavan removes obstacles on the path of bhakti and is thus known as bhakti vighna vinansana. Ganesha worships Bhagavan Narasingha and thus worshipping Ganesha in light of his own worship casts a spiritual color on Ganesha puja. We should think of him in this light. Otherwise, I am not an expert on Ganesha puja and there may be so many superstitions surrounding his worship. I would not be concerned about living in a house at an intersection that carries an icon of Ganesha. Live there if it is convenient and worship Narasingha, and you will certainly get the blessings of Ganapati.
Q. Whom do you see as the audience for your Bhagavad-gita edition?
A. As all of my books, it is for devotees and the liberal-intellectual and spiritually inclined sector of society. I think the devotees will get a lot out of it. Properly viewed it is the extension of Prabhupada’s mercy. Prabhupada had a particular purpose in writing his commentary: to make devotees. My emphasis is more to help devotees understand what it means to be a devotee and to speak to modern society about our tradition in their own language some fifty-plus years after Prabhupada’s edition. Things do change.
